Reply to 12 year old son has no motivation/isn't happy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
How in the world do you know that this kid does not have some form of "ADHD", rickets, mumps, or anything else.There are a lot of thoughtful posts by parents who have BTDT and offered helpful advice as well detailed accounting of their experience. The fact that OP even posted, IN DETAIL, about her son's long term issues is evidence that something needs to be done. No 12 yr old should just be allowed to be unhappy. There is something going on, even if it is just being an introvert struggling to deal with overstimulation in a world geared for the extrovert. OP owes it to her son to talk to a professional, doctor, therapist even if all she gets is some strategies to help her son to cope. Even if she received a prescription, she does not have to give it her kid. You do realize that you do not have to fill a prescription.
Good Luck to OP's son. I struggled with very low grade depression starting around his age. Kids should not be sad and no one tries to help.[/quote]

OP did not state that her son was sad, just not motivated.  OP stated that her other kids were not this way so she doesn't know what to do.  Others have stated that he is different, so don't try to fit him into OP's idea of the "mold" (like her other kids).

You people are reading into things that aren't there.  Again, quick to jump to some conclusion that the kid must have some disorder or something.[/quote]
THE TITLE OF THE POST SAYS HE IS NOT HAPPY!!!!!!!! THAT IS SAD EINSTEIN!!![/quote]

But not in the post description.... I think OP is confusing "not happy" with "not motivated".  As she said, her other kids aren't like this, so she doesn't know how to deal.[/quote]
Yes she doesssssssssss:

My oldest child has always been a child who needed more....more Legos, more time by himself, more allowance, etc. This trait alone would be enough to handle, but it also comes with a total and complete lack of motivation to do ANYTHING: do sports, homework, clean his room, invite friends over, talk to new people, go out for a walk with his family, play with his sisters, basically LIFE! The only time we ever see him motivated to do anything is when it's physically making something, like a volcano or a new Lego - then, complete focus. He does well in school, but only because we are constantly checking the teacher's websites to make sure he doesn't miss anything. 9 times out of ten he says they never told him there would be a quiz or a test, however teachers do not agree. We have a rule that his special toy (a model train set) goes away when he grades go below a B, a rule he came up with when we agreed to buy the train for him. He made a 3 page plan for how long it would go away for, and for what circumstances. All very mature, we thought. But now the times that it actually needs to be taken away, he yells and complains that it's not fair. This taking away stuff NEVER motivates him, never did. Nothing does. His swim coach tells him over and over again not to bend his legs while swimming, he's been doing it the wrong way for months now, completely ignoring her feedback. My husband and I sit down with him on weekends to do review of school work, and he absolutely hates it - we think he gets mad because we are holding him accountable. Sometimes he ends up crying because of it, and let me say we stay completely calm the whole time even though we are jumping out of our skin! He rarely writes down his homework, and I think his 900 person school isn't helping. [b]He seems so scattered, but mostly he doesn't seem happy. [/b]

All this leads me to think....he needs to go to military school!   Of course that isn't actually true, but with two other kids who never give us this kind of trouble, mostly do what we ask of them, want to participate in life, and usually wake up happy and ready to embrace the day...we are wondering, is there something different about him that we need to investigate further? Should we have him see someone? We aren't meeting his needs.[/quote]

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