Reply to Would you tell your son about your own rape?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow. I don't understand all the no's at all.  I absolutely will tell my son that a man raped me, and also that another man abused me sexually when I was 12.  If everyone is unwilling to tell the people closest to them that men have raped them, is it any wonder that so few people believe thy do many of us have been raped?

Why would you not tell your truth?  It's obviously a life-altering, important life event.  Why on earth hide it?[/quote]

+1. It's not shameful and it's important for all people to see who the victims are.[/quote]
+2[/quote]

+3 seriously concerned about those that feel otherwise.   [/quote]

It's not a question of shame.  It's a question of timing.  A child should not carry the burden of the parent.  Teach and educate but don't hand over emotional baggage a kid can't handle.  Tell a child when they are an adult, the point is not to be ashamed of what happened not to scar a kid.[/quote]
+1[/quote]

It's not emotional baggage; it's the gift of family history and knowledge and understanding.  If you raise a child right, your adult child will not only be able to handle it, your child will thank you for the gift of getting to know you better.

If you raise an adult who can't handle this information, you are truly doing it wrong.

My mother told me when I was 17 that she was raped when she was 19.  It was a total shock, but I was honored that she told me and I was really blessed to have the information.  it helped me understand so much about her relationship with my grandparents (they were not supportive) and all of the challenges she overcame as a young adult.  It made me closer to her. [/quote]

Op isn't asking about telling her adult children. She's asking about telling young boys not yet old enough to date.  That's why there are so many "no" reactions. [/quote]

PP here whose mom told me about the fact that a man raped her when she was 19.  A man raped me when I was 21.  I know I will tell my son someday, and I don't yet know when, but I can certainly see a context for a 13 or 14 year old young man to know about something like this.  There are situations that could happen (like the PP whose daughter was raped, where the whole family then were told that their mom was a survivor), or perhaps an acquaintance of the son being raped, or a film in which rape came up, or a host of other reasons.  It will really depend on the context and the maturity of the child, but I wouldn't rule out telling my child at a younger age if the situation fit.[/quote]

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