Reply to I feel bad that my child is not gifted

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I get what OP is saying and I kind of agree. I busted my a$$ to accomplish certain things in life, which gives me kids advantages, and they damn well are not going to do whatever they want because it "makes them happy." I don't care if they're not brilliant -- I am not either; then they're going to work freaking hard to be at the top of their class bc it will not be acceptable in my home to be middle of the pack and they won't be told "oh we love you anyway because you are so special." Yes I'm Asian.

OP -- 2 thoughts:
(1) Why not go Tiger Mom on them. It does work -- it has worked for generations of Chinese/Korean/Indian fams.
(2) Do you really think that getting into an Ivy is about being gifted? I have 2 Ivy degrees and am no where near gifted. For many it's about killing themselves to be at the top of their class and have the right resume; I think it's the rare kids that strolls into HYP bc he is so gifted that he just cured some disease while taking 27 APs and getting straight As. Point is -- put that fierce work ethic into  your kid now.[/quote]

PP, how does the tiger mom thing work when your kid has an LD (or 2)?  Serious question.  My kid has LDs and works her ass off to get "average" grades.  I've always wondered what would have happened if she had a tiger mom.

And OP, I could have written your post a few years ago.  Turned out that my child is actually bright (not gifted) but has LDs.  Be careful what you think now, because you might have a very rude awakening in a few years and "average" will look pretty good to you.  [/quote]

I'm the PP you quoted. I obviously did not mean that for kids who have issues. That being said I also think that lots of issues are over diagnosed in the U.S. How come you don't hear of every 2nd kid in Asia (and I don't mean the ones living in slums -- I mean the ones going to private schools) having ADHD and needing special accommodation for that? I'm sure they have the same LDs all over the world, but in certain parts of the world, kids are told -- that's how the ball rolls, you have to work 10x harder than your classmates -- and the kids are raised to rise to that occasion. I was raised to believe that I have to work 2x as hard as any white person to compensate for the fact that I'm brown -- guess what, it's true. On objective tests of course it doesn't matter. But in the workplace -- it does; people will only give you the promotions you deserve if you are far far superior to your competition.[/quote]

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