Reply to Pregnant at 42.5 and with serious marital issues

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your failing marriage is an aside, but this sibling for the child you have now is essential for you and your current child.  It offers your child a lifetime of support and comfort in their sibling relationship and sharing the burden of caring for you in your old age.  Please have the baby for all involved.[/quote]

This is a terrible assumption.  My mother is bipolar and an alcoholic.  My dad was just an alcoholic.  My brother was a holy terror as a child, and he took out our family's dysfunction by abusing me physically and terrorizing me mentally.  He was diagnosed bipolar at 21.  He died by suicide at 39.  We did actually have a few good years in there while he was stable, but for the most part he was a destabilizing, abusive, stressful, worrisome, scary part of my life, and he now constitutes its greatest grief.

No way would I bring another child into an abusive marriage with a bipolar parent on the assumption that the sinking would be a source of stength and support.  Most kids who grow up in abusive, chaotic homes grow up with major wounds.  This mom needs to focus all her efforts on her existing child, not make another and blindly hope it will be a good thing.[/quote]

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