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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have two wonderful daughters, 6 and 8. We are thinking of becoming Foster parents without the intention of adopting but of helping in a critical moment and being a positive influence towards a child. Sooo many questions!!!! What if when the child can go back, does not want to and rather wants to stay with you??? Has it happened to you? What do you do? We would give her the same tools as we give our daughters, talking and expressing our feelings, could those tools hurt her when she goes back to a rougher place? What about school? I read they ask you to keep her in her in her regular school...my kids go to a private, would that be an issue? [/quote]

OP here. Foster kids are almost always having visits with their adult that they'll be going to while they're with us. They know we're a port in the storm and not a permanent home, and we do all we can to be positive about where they'll go after us. We talk it up, point out the positives and encourage them to go. You have to give each child the tools they need. I had one 7 yr old foster kid who, when told he was going back to his mother (who'd been neglectful) begged me to teach him to cook. We normally would not allow OUR kids at 7 to be handling a pot of boiling water by themselves but taught this kid because he needed this tool. Different kids need different tools.

I am pretty sure no private school is going to take a kid for a few months or take a kid who can't excel at the school even if they're in foster care. And I am positive that a kid will feel like shit to live in a house where the other kids go to fancy private school while they go to public. My kids go to public. [/quote]

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