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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No no no. Aside from my bil, she does not normally celebrate christmas with the people she invited.  The extras live about  four hours drive from us -- and about four days driving from her.  No one was invited to her house for christmas this year; I extended the invite to them last summer.  The foreign cousins are essentially distant relatives (maybe second cousins twice removed), who happened to be going to disney world over Christmas, and whom the in laws invited to celebrate with us.  My opinion stands.  Dh and I planned christmas for our little family in our new home, and will continue to celebrate here while our kids are small. Grandparents will be invited to come every other year (to allow each set to participate). They should not be inviting other people, particularly relatives I have never met, to come along. It's my house. If they want to have christmas with others, they should simply decline the invitation for Christmas and see us another time. They have five kids, and none of the others who have children travel for christmas either.  I maintain, in laws are welcome every other year, but can't invite random relatives to join AT MY HOUSE for several days. [/quote]

I find DCUM usually snarky but it has to tell you something when everyone is saying the same thing. It may be better for you to not invite them every other year - both for your sanity and theirs. You are not being benevolent or generous to allow them every other year Christmas access to your kids. Perhaps some reframing and letting go of control is in order for you.  There will be chaos when family is involved but through this chaos, memories are formed.

Also, wow. [/quote]

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