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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you think you're going to tell her that she doesn't know? Do you think she isn't aware of online dating? Do you think she doesn't know she's overweight?

Aside from the issue of if she's running out of time (I would agree she absolutely is), your "helpful input" isn't likely to be great for your relationship with your sister. Dating advice from a married sibling is about as annoying as it comes, no matter how well intentioned. It treats the single person like they're stupid.

Unless she asks, I'd leave the topic alone and focus on having a great sisterly relationship. [/quote]

NP: Seriously, I'm sure PP here has good intentions, but this is what drives me frickin' BATTY about DCUM!  Everyone is too scared and too conflict-averse to actually ENGAGE IN CARING CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE THEY LOVE!!!  WTF???

OP this is your sister.  OF COURSE you should engage her on this.  I'm in my 40s, married, 2 kids, relatively happy.  But you know what?  I didn't get here all by myself.  I had patterns in the past that kept me from meeting guys who would actually make sense to settle down with.  I met my DH when I was 37 and was lucky to be able to have kids at 39 and 41.  But those bad patterns I had?  It took LOVING FRIENDS AND FAMILY WHO CARED ABOUT ME to give me some seriously needed feedback about how I present myself, what they think is driving my choices in men (not usually good choices), what had helped them work through similar situations/issues, and then loving me through my struggles ot figure myself out.

I'm not saying your sister has some huge issues to figure out.  There are generally way more single women than single men of any age, so I get it, it could just be the odds are against her.  But just in case there ARE issues affecting her self-confidence, you should talk to her about it.  Ask her what her social life has been like the last 5 or 10 years.  What makes her happy socially?  What bums  her out?  How does she feel she presents herself when in public or with guys she likes?  Does she have any male friends and has she ever asked them for advice?  That was a HUGELY helpful step for me.  My male friends told me things about how I appear in public and how it might drive a lot of guys away that I'd never even considered.

But no matter what, she is your sister.  No matter who the person is - friend, neighbor, co-worker - if you care about them and they seem to be worried about something, don't be afraid to reach out.  At minimum, ask caring questions and be an ear.  But even better, offer your take, offer to help them think about solutions, resources, others to talk to...whatever.  But for someoen who has diminished self-esteem, or may have anxieties or fears you have no idea about, or whatever it is, having someone care enough to ask and offer to help them process steps to take towards more happiness is welcomed/needed the vast majority of the time.

All this tip-toeing around loved ones, especially when they say they themselves are concerned, is absolutely mind-boggling to me.  Is this really what people want their kids to learn from them, that when something is wrong or you see someone else struggling, you don't reach out unless they ask you to?  Really?  Sometimes people will be mad or angry or reject your offer of help.  If you meant it in good intentions, so it goes, just keep moving on with your life.  But the number of people so hurt/sad/isolated/shy that they would NEVER ask for help but actually really really want or need it... it's worth the risk because most will want someone to care and talk to.

Sorry OP, rant over! :)  But please to reach out to your sis and if she's open to it, talk to her about her social life and help her unpack it and figure out what she could do differently to boost her own self-confidence and expose herself to more friends and potential boyfriends.[/quote]

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