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[quote=Anonymous]Op I was with you at first but you are starting to lose me. Your legitimate gripes are getting lost in silly accusations. Children do not catch colds from a day of junk food and excitement. That's just not how it works. Also, you are way overestimating the power of the toys the kids play with. We've never had a single toy weapon in our home but my 6-year-old DS still finds a way to pretend he has them. Unless your child goes to Waldorf school or is home schooled or something, you really can't keep him from that kind of thing. This does not mean your child is going to grow up and join the military. It also does not mean that you have to allow these things in your home.  If you "don't like to throw things out," donate or freecycle them.  Every mom knows how to surreptitiously remove toys from the rotation, and if you choose not to just to prove a point that is on you.

Have you considered the fact that your kids may be talking about the sports teams, pink frosting, etc., simoly because they can tell it gets to you??  Kids that age don't have much empathy and they get a big charge out of feeling like they have power over adults. It's parenting 101 to not show them when they're getting under your skin because they will keep doing it. You are clearly very upset about this and if your children are at all perceptive I'm sure it is not lost on them. Try taking the high road and just ignoring it and you may find your MIL's influence is not as strong as you thought.

Believe me, I get how the little stuff can add up over time, and I agree your MIL sounds annoying as hell. But you are now past the point of sounding rational yourself. Step back, take a breath, and come up with your two or three legitimate complaints about your MIL. Too many presents, especially with weapons, is legit. Saying she gave your child a cold or will drive him to join the military is not. The sports team thing is definitely annoying but just because it's annoying and competitive, not because it's going to harm your children in some way. Anyway, when you have your genuine issues ready to discuss, sit down and talk to your DH. He needs to help you brainstorm how to handle the situation and he needs to help deal with it. It probably involves a combination of him talking to his father about the gifts, you coming up with strategies for not letting Her get to you (Xanax or a few glasses of wine at family events works well), and limiting your exposure to her. Maybe you need to take up a new hobby that keeps you busy about half the time you normally see your in-laws, but fortunately DH and the kids can still make it. She will still be annoying but the less you have to directly deal with Her the easier it will be. [/quote]

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