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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]10yo refuses to make a list because he says "I'll get obsessed with it.  Just get me whatever you want."

I'll probably get him one of those Elenco electrical engineering kits, some new clothes, and a book or two.

(He already has a phone and computer but he's restricted from both for the quarter because of last quarter's report card.  Access to both is tied to his grades -- [b]he must maintain straight As to use the phone,[/b] and the computer he can only use for schoolwork until he brings his grades up.)

My 7yo, on the other hand, presented me with an official list two weeks ago and reminds me regularly that it exists.[/quote]

You say this like you're so proud of your strategy. 
He might make the grades, but so much for developing intrinsic motivation. [/quote]

He sounds motivated to me. He wants something (use of phone), he knows what's necessary to receive it (grades), so presumably he will make an effort to work to that level.

Sounds a bit like me. I want something (a salary so I can afford to raise my family), I know what's necessary to receive it (a job, at which I perform successfully and receive promotions at a reasonable rate), so I am quite motivated at work. Or, for an example at home: I want something (free time to spend with the kids and DH), I know what's necessary to receive it (accomplishing the basic house chores that need to get done), so therefore I am motivated to do things I dislike such as clean the bathrooms and take out the garbage.

I know of few people who would remain equally motivated to hold a career or take on the obligations of managing a household [i]just because[/i] -- there's usually something they find rewarding about the tedium because it allows them to get to have or do something they value. How many people would honestly work full time for no salary or be happy managing a household if it did not come with the rewarding moments of family relaxation and happiness? Sounds like life to me, and therefore a decent lesson for PP's DS to learn -- you do what you have to do in order to get to do what you want to do. [/quote]

Thank you.

-PP whose kid's phone access is grade-dependent[/quote]

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