Reply to What's it like being married to a professor?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, OP, why are you asking about this?  Are you dating someone who is or hopes to be a prof? Or are you writing a novel and looking for background?

If you're dating someone and want advice, tell us what his/her field is and, if they're in grad school, whether they have a research or teaching assistantship. [/quote]

Mostly just curiosity, but yes I am dating a PhD candidate![/quote]

And he's in a science field.[/quote]Hmmm, I don't know much about the market for PhDs in the sciences but here are a couple of things to consider: Is he in a top school?  Does he have a research or teaching assistantship that pays his way?  (That will be a sign to employers that he is a higher quality candidate.) Does he have an adviser who is helpful, good at mentoring him on how to manage a professional career and publish, and is also well-connected in the field and can introduce him to the right people?  The adviser is really important.  I made the mistake of coming up through an interdisciplinary department with few committed faculty and an adviser who was clueless about the demands of an academic career.

But ultimately, as I believe a pp has said, [b]you [b]shouldn't[/b] marry someone [b]based on their profession[/b] but on the strength of their character and the level of your compatibility.[/b] [/quote]

:D  :D  :D  :D  :D You are joking. Women naturally marry based on this alone, especially in the 21st century. It is just natural mate selection anyway. Women want to know about security, stability, and quality of life that any potential mate will take with him. Mothers advise their daughters about this all the time.

For a triangulated perspective, I can relate my experience (not in the US but close enough). I am early 30s, single guy, with no kids. I have always held a full-time job in government and also an adjunct. Women from both office and university literally throw themselves at me because I am perceived to be up the proverbial ladder of success. I suppose, as some say, it is rare for a straight Black guy to have this profile and still be single without kids.

So while I appreciate the normative "shouldn't" ( and agree in principle), it is otherwise inconsistent with nature.  [/quote]Wow, you're quite a catch, aren't you? [b]Thanks, I get it all the time[/b]

Being inconsistent with your experience doesn't make it inconsistent with nature. [/quote] [b]Clearly you have issues with what motivates women today (certainly not me)[/b]

Defensiveness...jealousy....narrow-mindedness, blinded by your own opinions, or refusal to learn from others' experiences.....? Pick whichever applies :roll:   [/quote]

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