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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, what do you think will happen if you do settle into a nice relationship?  Are you going to change the partying ways?  If not, do you think that any guy (one who has seen your behavior at these parties) will be able to trust that you can go out, get drunk, and NOT hook up with someone else?  I'm sorry, but your behavior does not exactly demonstrate that you can stay committed in a monogamous relationship.  This is not gender-biased, btw, I'd have the same skepticism about dating any of your male colleagues who (according to you) act the same way.

If you want guys to take you seriously for a real relationship, then you need to act like you can be in a real relationship. Stop the hookups, or at least take them to a different social circle where your colleagues won't know about it.  If you don't have the self-control to do that, then you don't have the self-control necessary to actually commit to one guy.

The alcohol itself isn't necessarily a problem, but if it leads to drunken hookups or other irresponsible behavior, then it is a problem.  You need to be on control of your actions.  If you want to hook up, that's fine, but do it deliberately in a way that won't jeopardize your professional life.

-Former party girl, who had a very hard time settling down after I committed to one guy after years of hooking up with random guys at parties. [/quote]

I read the whole thread in hopes that someone would post exactly this.

OP, listen to this PP. I was her too. It's really easy to fall back into old social patterns, even if you recognize them as being unwise and wish to move on. It's hard to transition relationships begun in the circumstances you describe into the serious committed relationship you describe wanting.

Also, frankly, a lot of men do actually want someone who behaves like you have been behaving. They just only way you to do it with them. Take a spin through any of the threads where men are upset that their wives used to be adventurous and fun and are now worn down and boring. It's actually hard to maintain your "fun" persona when you've got a lot of other stuff going on, and it's definitely not a priority for a lot of women (including me, at various times).

What you are looking for is a strong connection with someone - passion and a sense of adventure, but also a LASTING connection that will not evaporate when you have kids and haven't slept a full night in 6 months, when someone is stressed out by work, when you've got weird family issues or health issues or whatever. You want someone who is going to stick by your side, rather than chasing the magic party girl or party life somewhere else.

It's really, really unlikely that you're going to find that person in a casual hook up culture.[/quote]

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