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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reluctant to use the word soulmate here but both of us came together in the strangest most unplanned in predictable way. 
Both currently in sexless- unaffectionate marriages with young kids which is what makes divorce difficult. 
Since meeting we've have a series of strange coincidences which are hard to ignore (like signs which I never believed in)
We've connected on so many levels and it is making us question everything in our lives. 
Has this happened to others who have had affairs? 
How did it turn out. 
This is not just sex. We see each other almost every day and talk all the time. 
It just seems like we are such better matches for each other than our spouses. [/quote]

Yep, happening to me.  I read once that affairs happen because two people meet deep, specific needs in each other.  Hence the intensity of feeling.  In my experience this is the case when the marriages are not just sexless but also emotionless.  Not only is there no sex, but there's not even kissing or hugging.

I hadn't thought about the term "soulmate" since I was a teenager until I met this guy.  I was drawn to him right away, and the more I knew about him the more I liked him.  We have a lot of things in common, deep things, the same needs, the same way of showing love, the same childhood traumas.

It is true that in some affairs you only see one side of a person.  But if you're communicating with someone every day you learn about them.  There are affairs that are nothing more than appointments for sex, and there are affairs that are also friendships, where you hide nothing of yourself - on the contrary, you expose everything that you are to the other person because they want you to, they want to know everything about you and you them.  These are relationships where you're both unfortunately already married.

Whether you want to upend your life to be with this person forever is a difficult decision.  In my case we talk every day but we don't have physical contact.

I'm not sure if I believe in past lives or reincarnation, and I would be skeptical of "signs."  I think "signs" are just things you pick up on because you're paying more attention to things that remind you of the AP.  This quote is more what I feel a soulmate is, now that I'm older, although I don't agree it's too painful to live with them forever:

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”

? Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love[/quote]

Blah, blah, blah . . . [/quote]

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