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[quote=Anonymous]Update for those of you that were trying to help:

I approached him again, but with "Is there anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable talking about this?" vs. "I don't understand. What happened?" That really seems to be all I needed to do. He started talking and, as it turns out, it was the same issue as before (he was afraid I'd feel disrespected) but this time a little different. He was afraid I'd feel disrespected later, as in a few months or years from now when I thought back on it. There were a few females at the same training he attended in DC, and apparently while everyone was in the lobby having drinks one night he overheard a conversation between two of the women. One of them was saying to the other that she thought she'd try to "spice things up" (but didn't say how) but that she felt bad about herself later & even felt a little hurt by her boyfriend over it, even though it was her idea. He automatically related that to us, and didn't want me to feel that way later on. That completely fits his personality. He's always thinking ahead of things and worrying about potential outcomes. He said even if I didn't feel like it would be that way, he was so worried it would change later and was afraid to chance it. So there ya go... I assured him that wouldn't happen & that it's actually what I *need*. He still seems a little nervous about it, but we had sex since that talk and he was much closer to where he'd been before. I think he just needs a bit more reassurance via proof, not words, that it's okay.

To those of you who were really trying to help, thank you again. I appreciate it very much. Especially the one that suggested the alternate wording as that really seems to have been the key to getting him to talk about it. [/quote]

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