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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Teacher here at an area independent school. Most parents are respectful and kind. They volunteer and will write an email once in a while to tell you how much their child loved a lesson or if the child needs a bit of help with a lesson. And the occasional Bully Parent? The same every time. It's a mom, babies her child or spoils the child, thinks she knows more about education than a professional educator, typically doesn't let dad know about the obsessive insane emails she writes to the teacher, will send out a long winded emotional email followed up by a call to an administrator then later will send a second email that is somewhat apologetic, doesn't ever want to hear that her child either needs academic or emotional/social support. Her child is perfect and so is she. [/quote]

Actually, I *am* that mom, to some extent. I have a smart child with some special needs that were not being served in the public school nestled in the expensive neighborhood we bought precisely to gain access to a great school. So I came to the private option with some expectations, and I have communicated them during the admission process. That background may or may not have been shared with the classroom teacher, but what you call "babying" is what me I, along with many ADHD specialists, call small classroom accommodations. I promise they are small. So small, in fact, that the public school refused to put them on the accommodations list because they are simply "good classroom management technique, non-specific to a disability". If I did send that long email, it is because you have refused to meet with me when things started to go wrong. Instead, you have berated my child for lack of discipline. Had you met me when I asked, we would have quickly caught a problem before it became a habit, and the conversations would have been much nicer. You, as a teacher, may well have an excellent knowledge about appropriate children development, but know little about this specific child. If I cannot work with the teacher to help provide adequate education for my child in a private setting school, I have no idea where to turn.

So please understand that if I'm a bit emotional, it is because I see my child falling through the cracks. It is because we're making huge efforts to afford  the tuition that would allow for a closer home-school communication, and I see little of that. It is because I just lost my SACC spot for after-school in my old neighborhood school, so the new school *HAS* to work out, because it will be extremely hard to go back. At this point, you, the private school teacher, have an insane amount of power in your hand, and some of your decisions will impact my entire family's life tremendously. So please be patient with me as I explain that my child will need to know what to expect next week, so that she can come engaged and ready to learn. That she may learn in quirky ways, and rote repetition may simply not always be the best. That she needs the same reminders as a child a few years younger. Her maturity is simply not the same as her peers. While I admire you for trusting the children to raise to high expectations of self-regulation and independent work, this particular child cannot. Yet. She still needs the structure and reminders and nurture and positive re-enforcement that will, eventually, turn her into that responsible young adult we're both trying to create. But she's not there yet, and no amount of poor grades and public humiliation will change the present skill. Yet, she has her own ways to learn, and learn well. I am here, at your service, looking to make this a successful year. I come armed with strategies that work, and ready to take your input when something does not. But silence, when tests and homework come home covered in red, despite hard work at home -- that is not an option. I have to speak up. Please don't call me a bully for that. Just work with me.[/quote]

This is NOT bullying. I'd welcome an email like yours to help me with what you know works best.[/quote]

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