Reply to 1st grade boy never eats his packed lunch...need other viewpoints, pls

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Reply to "1st grade boy never eats his packed lunch...need other viewpoints, pls - DH is so frustrated"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow - OP here, who knew this would get so many replies!

So DH and I had a long talk about this last night. I think our problem is multifaceted - confusing messages from DS and a bit of a control issue by DH.

DS is not helping matters by not being 100% honest about what he wants to eat.  DH's frustration lies in the fact that DS will say, "Daddy, can I please have xyz for lunch today?" and then DH will pack XYZ and it comes home uneaten.  However, when I ask him about it later, DS either says he didn't have time or he didn't like it.  When I asked DS last night what was going on, he said he really just wants a PB&J.

So DH and I have agreed that we're going to try to send in a PB&J every day for a while and see how it goes. However, DH really and truly believes that it's unhealthy to eat a PB&J every day (really just 4x a week bc of pizza Fridays).  I do not. We disagree vehemently on this topic.  I don't really see how I can change his mind on this, as it doesn't appear to be fact based in any way. It's just his stubborn opinion.  I really don't think eating a hot dog or a thermos of tortellini is necessarily healthier than a PB&J. I honestly think he just doesn't like the idea of having one of "those kids" who only eat certain bland kid foods.  DS is good eater at home and at restaurants, and he eats lots of interesting things. I want to let this whole battle die and just let the kid eat whatever boring fast lunch he wants, and just focus on great breakfasts and dinners.  The kid eats crab and shrimp and fish and jambalaya and Chinese food and sushi and a million other good things. So let's let him have his boring lunch, for god's sake! DH is not pleased but agreeing to try it on a trial basis.

DS is not swapping food - they're not permitted to swap at our school - but I do think he's chatting and just doesn't focus on getting his thermos and fork out.  A simple sandwich is just easier and faster.  I know at least once this year he couldn't get it open and it took forever to get a lunchroom aide to help him.

One other topic that kept coming up is that DH is frustrated that DS thinks it's ok to waste food and just throw out his lunch.  DH needs to divorce the meaning from the food a little bit.  It's a bigger issue than just food for him...he ties it all up with how hard we work and how much money gets wasted and he takes it really seriously. I do think we have a responsibility to teach the child to not waste things and to be respectful, but at some point you have to cut the kid some slack.  He's 6.  For him it's just food.

Sorry I'm rambling. It did really help me to hear so many of you agree with me. It made me feel like I wasn't the crazy one!!

(also - quesadilla doubters - they're great if they go in a thermos. Try it!)

[/quote]

Good reply back OP.  I was the the initial poster who mentioned your husband might want to go in at lunch and I still think this is a really good option.  First off, he will see the mass chaos.  Second, he will unfortunately see the gross food that comes out of the cafeteria and what other kids may bring.  Maybe his idea of a PB&J won't be so "bad."  I totally understand he doesn't want to have "that kid" that only eats like 3-4 foods and as a positive, many Dads barely care so be happy yours does.  It is just how he is projecting it onto his kids that is not so good.  Here are a few ideas to help:

1. Whole wheat bread, natural PB and organic low sugar jelly.  It IS indeed healthy.

2. Place the sandwich in a plastic container that has another slotted side (or 2) Put a few grapes or carrot sticks in one section, fresh popcorn in another.  Close it and add a thermos of milk.  This showcases all the food in one container to open and the thermos of milk to drink.  I find that when parents put each item in a separate container or baggie, most don't even get touched.  I use these
http://www.amazon.com/EasyLunchboxes-3-Compartment-Bento-Containers-Classic/dp/B004S129AQ/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1412780457&sr=8-3&keywords=lunch+box

3. Make a rule that he is not allowed to throw-away any food at lunch.  We do this and my kid eats what comes home plus a small "treat" for listening. So if half the popcorn, 4 grapes  and half a crust come home, he eats all but the crust and then gets a yogurt stick or pirate booty etc... This will help the communication between your DH and son.  The food all gets eaten at some point during the day = no waste and he can see what is working and what is not for food.

Good Luck!! [/quote]

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