Reply to 10 year old nephew crying when left with moms boyfriend

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[quote=Anonymous]It is all very concerning.  Even more concernng if OP doesn't come back to answer the question of whether she's ever asked her nephew why he's upset when left with the BF.  I worked for CPS for years and this scenario would be a classic case of something being wrong.  Who knows what, could be anything from BF is verbally or physically abusive, to sexual abuse, to BF making nephew do things nephew knows are wrong (buy drugs, watch as drugs are dealt, etc).

I understand full well how challenging life as a single mother is.  But being a single mother - even an overwhelmed one - cannot be an excuse for not seriously sitting down with your son and trying to figure out what else needs to happen if this "arrangement" isn't working.  As a relative who cares, first step is talking ot the newphew himself and then going from there.  If he seems terrified and clams up, get him out of the house and somewhere safe and try again.  If you have any option of caring for him instead of the boyfriend, offer that, although I can't tell from the posts I've read if you already live with him or not.

And OP, it's good that you're conscious that you already don't like the BF and are trying not to cloud the situation with your dislike.  But please be clear: it is HIGHLY UNUSUAL and CONCERNING for a 10 yr old to break down in tears every time they're left alone with another adult.  Unsual to the nth degree.  Look into it, get the kid to safety and ask them to be fully honest with you.  And please be ready to act in some way to help him.  Something sounds very very wrong.[/quote]

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