Reply to what leads parents to be completely delusional about their kids' abilities?

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "what leads parents to be completely delusional about their kids' abilities?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote][quote]    As for the ivy talk -- if your kid is in about 3rd-4th grade, it'll work itself out by 9th-10th grade so ignore it for another 5 yrs.

From personal experience, there were a LOT of kids who did really well in elementary school and well in middle school. It honestly isn't hard to be a straight A student if you're of medium intelligence, you try, and you're in a home where grades/homework etc. are emphasized. That makes parents think "oh my kid is a genius" he's gotten straight As for 8 straight yrs.

The ivy bound kids start to separate themselves by 9th-10th grade though. In part because they really have to bust their a$$ if they want to even have a legit shot for an ivy, and that's not something (most) parents can mandate -- unless they are tiger parents. The kids themselves need to be willing to take 15 APs and get As in them, be a leader at school/sports/community. It's a rare kind of kid that will work that hard for the small % chance of acceptance.

There were many who were consistently straight A students in elementary who by high school were ranked in the 50th percentile. I don't mean to suggest they weren't smart -- they were. But they chose other things. Some decided they had a passion for one thing -- say science -- and would devour any and all science opportunities but were ok being in honors level classes for everything else. Some were told their parents couldn't afford out of state/ivy, so they figured -- why kill myself for it. Some discovered that they didn't mind being in state or frankly found a "passion" for video games or sports or dating or being popular or whatever and school was back burner. Point is -- as much as a parent can insist their child is ivy bound, with an acceptance rate that has hovered at the 7% mark or lower for the last 10 yrs -- I wouldn't make anything of it until the kid is holding a signed letter from admissions a decade from now.[/quote]

Totally agree. And sometimes the less apparently gifted kids catch up. I wasn't selected for the gifted program in elementary school. In fact I was denied admission to the school (private school) altogether the first time I applied (in kindergarten). But I worked hard and my grades gradually crept up, and between 8th and 9th grades it was like a switch was thrown and I suddenly understood how to study, understood the material I'd been missing, etc. I graduated first in my class and went to Harvard and did well there. I'm sure there were plenty of kids in my school who had more native smarts -- probably the ones selected for the gifted program in third grade -- but they didn't all go to Ivies because they didn't put in the effort, or they found other things of importance, etc. I really don't see how you can know what track your kid will be on before they're 11 or 12 at the earliest, 14 or 15 more likely. And I know plenty of people who didn't go to Ivies who are doing just as well or better than I am, and are probably happier, too![/quote]

Same here.  Only Yale, and stopped sucking at school at more like 7th grade.  Also like a switch flipped: "Oh, I should be, ah, learning all this stuff, huh?"  I mention because (1) agree that very little can be discerned at the elementary school level, (2) the "switch" flipping had nothing to do with my parents, who placed importance on education but in no way were tiger parents, and (3) I think all the bragging/pressure is the born of our insecurity about *how little* control parents have over the talents, drive, intellectual abilities of their kids (beyond the baseline of providing security, love and a decent education). [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics