Reply to If your spouse is a marathon runner, tri-athlete, etc ......

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex decided to train for a marathon when we had a newborn, a 2 year old and sick parents.  I had just returned to work.  This was never discussed and there was no "plan."  He just took the time and left me to do everything else.

I never learned the art of getting another adult to do things.  There was no trading off time, there was no acknowledgement of the toll this took on me.  On weekends when he went for long runs, he was gone that whole time, then the eating, showering and resting.  It was a nearly all day event.  Next day he'd be "too tired" to take the kids.  He would just refuse to get out of bed, would scream and yell if I tried to relax.  Would make it miserable when I returned home if I left the house.

I supported him, despite thinking this was one of the most selfish choices he made during our marriage.  We went to watch him during the marathon, I drove him back late at night with kids in the car so he could pick up his car, and I was responsible for the kids during the next day when he recovered at home and off work.  Not a lovely memory of family time or examples of healthy activity for our kids.  It was not any of those things.  It was something my ex decided he wanted to do, and he did it with no regard for anyone else or the impact it had.

I didn't look at this as a non-kid-related hobby.  Fully support adult-time and alone time, but it needs to be discussed as such and both partners should be doing what they want during their individual "me" time.  Infants and toddlers require a lot more work, and I think time-intensive hobbies (long periods of personal time) are unrealistic for most families during those years if both parents are working full time.[/quote]

I am confused. Did you marry Lance Armstrong or did this new hobby of his develop over night? 
[/quote]

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