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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi.   It's the OP.   First of all, I came back because I really do need the advice and I am willing to listen to a lot of ideas.  I also wanted to post so that this issue would not be swept under the rug because I doubt I am alone.  Therefore I am not a "troll" making this up.   Thank you so much to the amazing women who are supportive, nonjudgemental and gave such excellent advice.   Much of which I am absolutely going to use.   It's good to know besides a few mean spirited women, that there is a sisterhood among women that can be tapped even in cyberspace.

The reason I turned to the board to begin with is that the Mom of the child is a friend of mine and I do not want to ask mutual friends for advice because that isn't fair to the mother or the child. Even if true, it amounts to nasty gossip.  I care very much for both of them.  Our children know each other but not that well.   They ended up in the same class together by chance at a very large school.  So I did not "convene" a meeting with the parents.  It happened naturally.  The teacher reached out to me about the personality change, not the other way around, I saw what I saw on the playground (as did the hubby) but waited for my daughter to tell me what was up when she came home sobbing after I asked her what was wrong.

I volunteered because I am charge of all the volunteers.  It's what I was asked to do and I am happy to do it.   So I walk kids safely to the bus at the end of the day, open their Gogurts, wipe away tears when they are missing their Moms those first few days.  That's why I was there, not to smother my kids (there are two) but to help out.  Thankfully I was there because otherwise I may have missed the cues, time would have passed and I would be wondering what happened to my daughter who has always had tons of friends, lots of laughter and a healthy confidence.

Thank you for all of the advice and support.  I am taking many of these points to heart...the role playing, words to use, steps to take, the American girl book.   In fact, I will be going to Barnes and Nobles tonight to buy it.   :)   I am sure there are going to be more mean posters who hack me to bits, but they can have at it.    It says more about their character than mine.

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I am not a pp but thanks for clarifying about the volunteering, op. I think a lot of people were thrown because most teachers don't allow parent volunteers in the classroom the first couple of weeks of school. But what you are describing is not a class specific volunteer role but a PTA volunteer role. I'm sorry that your dd is going through this. It's really rough and it's hard when the perpetrator is a child of a friend. I will say that although this is bad you can't seem upset around your child. She has to know that this isn't the worst thing in the world and that you know that she can get through this. My dd and another friend had problems with another child in early elementary and the other girl's mom would cry about it -- both to me and her daughter. It didn't help anyone and only made her daughter feel more helpless. I'm not sure what American Girl book was recommended to you but there are so many that are great. My dd is 13 now, has the whole collection and still reads them (although many are for middle school ages). Good luck and keep us posted. It really sucks that this stuff is starting in K now...[/quote]

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