Reply to Dad walking "daughter" down the aisle

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it must have been very hard for you to not have your dad at home while you were growing up, and harder still to see his partner's child getting the day-to-day fathering that you craved.  Your sense of displacement is valid.

As a prior poster said, if you had a sister, would it bother you if he walked her down the aisle first?  If not, this isn't about wanting to go first, it is about feeling like the partner's daughter got something from your dad that you didn't get and means something to him that you don't (because he raised her on a day-to-day basis).  I get that.

[b]Try to remember that you are his bloodline.  You already have a relationship with him that she can never have. [/b]

Also, the fact that he had her and her mother in his life probably made him a healthier and happier person, and perhaps that made him a better father to you.  It's hard, but you need to act in kindness here, and try to embrace the happiness of the moment for your father.

If you choose to talk to your dad about your feelings of displacement, be sure to clarify that you WANT him to walk her down the aisle because it is the right thing to do; you're just feeling a little jealous and struggling with the fact that they have a relationship that you couldn't have with him.[/quote]

And to this I'll say: love isn't a competition. Someone loving someone else  (eat. Your dada leaving your step sister) doesn't make them love you love you any less. Your stepsister having a beautiful wedding first doesn't make yours any less. Your competition is only in your head. Live your life and have the merits of your wedding because of you, not because you're competing for glory or love).

One of you being happy does not negate the other person's happiness.

OP, I suspect you never came to terms with your parents divorce. It had nothings to do with you, your worth, or your future. They could t love each other. It's not your fault.

They love you, just maybe not together, at the same time. Don't punish your stepsister for that. [/quote]

Sharing a bloodline doesn't create an exclusive type of relationship.  Blood makes relatives but it does not make family.  Parents can love step children and adopted children and have just a strong a bond with them as parents of biological children.  Sharing a bloodline with her father does not make her the special or better daughter or "real" daughter.

OP needs to realize that her sister can also cultivate a special relationship with her father but it doesn't take anything away from her relationship with her father.  Love is not a competition.  OP should be glad b/c if it were she might very well be losing points due to her jealousy.

OP, ypu really need to take a look at this from everyone else's point of view and stop feeling the way do are ASAP.  If you don't you willl likely succeed in isolating yourself from the rest of your family, including your dad.  No one needs your negative energy right now, least of all you.  Let her have her special day and then you have yours.  Don't use your wedding to prove a point.  It would be a terrible way to start of your marriage.

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