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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This seems nutty to me.  No one should be depending on flying family in (with small children) to cover childcare needs.  There have to be local solutions - college kids who want to earn a little extra money, nannies or housekeepers in the neighborhood who would like to pick up a few hours, nanny agencies (or care.com) that are ways to find short term caregivers, etc...

I don't understand why your brother and SIL would handle things this way, or why it would ever make sense for you with a 4 yr old.  [/quote]

There are plenty of reasons why you might depend on family flying in to cover childcare needs.  OP's brother and SIL just don't seem to be handling it well.  When our DD was a baby, she was in a nanny share.  When she was about 23 months, the other family decided to leave the share, as their child was starting preschool, and we felt our DD would benefit from more interaction with other kids.  Our nanny found another job earlier than expected, though, and the daycare we found for DD could only take her after she turned 2.  So we were left with a two-week gap in childcare.  Yes, we could have advertised and found a local college student or nanny agency.  But that seemed like a lot of transition in a short time period.  So we asked my sister, who at the time was childless and between jobs but lived on the West Coast, to come and babysit for two weeks.  It was much better than hiring a stranger!  DD got to bond with a faraway relative, I got to enjoy some time with my sister, and she got to see some of the DC sites with us in evenings and on weekends.  We paid her what we would have paid the nanny, plus covered her airfare and food.  She seemed very happy with the arrangement (especially because she would not have made any money at home for those two weeks), and 4 years later, DD still sings the songs my sister taught her and remembers which toys they bought together (we gave my sister some money to take DD toy shopping while she was there, since she was going to be spending all day at home and we didn't have that many toys as DD spent most of her day at her nanny share).

OP, in your situation, it sounds like your brother and SIL are being unreasonable.  As you discuss this with them, I'd leave out any mention of SIL's family--that's a different topic and will distract them from your reasonable concerns.[/quote]

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