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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the pp you quoted above.  I'm glad my post was helpful and yours was for me, as well.  It's a little bit of a comfort to know my DH and I aren't the only couple in this situation.

Seems the earning power thing is probably not an issue for you (I suspect it is for us, though, which is why I wondered).

Do you know what the substantive topic of the podcasts is?  Maybe find a related activity?  It might be boring for you (I know, because my DH likes science-type stuff, and I don't) but it would put him in a good mood and help him relax.  He might feel guilty about and pressured to give up the podcasts, so maybe doing this would be a subtle message that it's certainly ok for it to be a part of his life, not just his whole life.

Just some random thoughts.  best to you, OP.  [/quote]

OP, man here, and you can take this with a grain of salt.  I don't think the podcasts are the issue.  If it wasn't podcasts, it would be gardening.  If it was raining and the podcasts were off it would be something else.  If it were a matter of him enjoying an hour of podcasts or an hour of gardening but then connecting emotionally and sexually with you, you probably wouldn't have a problem with this.

I also thought it could be an earning issue, i.e. some men feel emasculated when wives are primary earners, but that isn't it apparently.  I hate to also imply he is gay, but this situation is identical to a good friend of mine whose husband used alcohol to zone out and pass out and do everything to avoid intimacy with his wife - she divorced him and he came out soon after.  I hate to be gender essentialist but it is really unusual for a man not to need sex.  Even if he isn't having sex with you, he must be masturbating somewhere?  Men physicially need a release, so he needs his hormones checked to ensure this isn't a medical issue.

One other thing - when the kids came, my wife went low sex drive and it definitely eroded our marriage to the point I fantasized constantly about divorce and cheating.  I had to be very direct about my needs and it eventually improved.  Men (or some men) really don't pick up on subtle cues.  You need to be direct about your needs, no matter how embarrasing that is.

Best of luck to you.  Marriage without sex and intimacy is no marriage at all.  I feel for you immensely.[/quote]

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