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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot about your story falls into place with the info about ADD, OP. Has he ever medicated for it? How aware is he of its role in his life?  [/quote]

OP here.  Actually, he started ADD meds (Adderall) about a year into our relationship.  And, wow, now that I think of it, he has been much, much more checked out since he started the meds.  Like, his hyperfocus is much more intense -- occasional hyperfocus on me, but usually escaping into something else that he completely becomes obsessed with and immerses himself in.

It's not about the podcasts and the gardening -- those are just the current escapes.  There were other things he would be immersed with when we were dating and be occupied by.  For a while while we were engaged it was pure workaholism, bringing home work and working 'till after midnight every night.   Now, it's gardening and podcasts, not work (most of the time).  But I think the exact activity is not as relevant as the hyperfocus/escaping in general, which is the pattern.

He is a big Adderall devotee now, and feels that he's much more productive with it.  I'm going to have to think about how to broach the possibility that the meds might be hurting our connection with each other.  I wonder if this is a thing, or if I'm just searching for something fixable that can save my marriage!  :-)[/quote]

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