Reply to Desperately lonely with my excellent house-husband

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Desperately lonely with my excellent house-husband"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm so sorry.  My marriage is very similar.  I know how crushing it can be to your mood and self esteem.  My DH also is much more focused on domestic tasks than he needs to be, his headphones are always on, and he can be downright snarly with me when I interrupt him.  Like your DH, he won't do things like exercise with me, won't talk to me half the time, yet does incredibly sweet things like baking biscuits for me before I leave for a long day at work.  FWIW, we have been together for many years, and it did not start this way - things got much worse after our children were born.  Probably because the anxiety ramped way up for both of us.

I have tried everything I can think of to change things.  We were in couples therapy for a while, but discontinued it because I honestly felt we weren't getting anywhere.  I concluded that this is something about HIM, not about the relationship.  He is in therapy on his own and things are starting to improve, but the pace is glacial.  I have a lot of reasons to leave, but I love him, he is the father of my children, and I am trying to see that this is about his own personal struggle.  Like you, I have asked, "Wouldn't you be happier without me?"  But he says no, and I now believe him.  I don't think he would fare better with someone else because the problem lies in his ability to emotionally connect to another.  That isn't going to go away based on a change in partner.  (And in your case, your DH's first marriage proves this point, right?)

On a positive note, we also have instituted a weekly date night and truly, I think it has helped as much as the therapy ever did.  Some times are more successful than others.  Dinner out is usually a bust because we both default to using our phones.  Concerts have been decent, and movies.  Best is something physical like hiking.

One question, and you should feel free to disregard if you think it's too nosey - how does your earning power stack up against his?  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics