Reply to Are men aware when they have sexist views about women and just don't care?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not the PP but I disagree with your position that men always attack women solely because they attack women and they always attack men for some other external reason. Not true. There are many motivations why people (men and women) are violent. Assuming you know everyone's motivation and then forming a generalized perception of men and women based on this is very flawed. Men are also victims of domestic violence and are also targeted sometimes just because of their gender, so you could equally say that men fully understand the experience of women and it isn't unique to them.

I am a woman and I have never been harassed or propositioned or had anyone expose themselves to me. So no experience is shared by everyone just because of gender. [/quote]

I did not mean to suggest that men always attack women because they're women or that male-on-male violence is always the result of external factors. I was simply saying that many times, being a woman is an invitation to violence that being a man in a similar situation is not. I'm really glad to hear that you haven't been harassed or propositioned though. You're the first woman I've ever heard that from. I don't mean to sound patronizing, but how are you defining "harassed" or "propositioned"? Maybe things that other women find uncomfortable are not uncomfortable for you. I know that I certainly have different thresholds for certain things than some women I know (the word "bitch" doesn't really bother me unless it's used in a particularly hostile way, for example).

[b]I think it's fairly safe to say that it's possible to generalize that women ARE targeted because of their gender more often than men are targeted because of their gender. I do not have statistics on hand to back this up, but will go see if I can find something on the internet to support this assertion[/b].[/quote]

I agree with this, just not your earlier assertion that there is a set formula to violence and that men always do x or women always do y.

[/quote]

I apologize. I didn't mean to imply a set formula to violence or prescribe gender roles! I was responding to what that PP said about street harassment vs. getting punched in the face by a man. I completely agree that men are socialized to tolerate more violence than women. I think that's horrible and is one of the things that I would fear and try to counteract as a parent, if I had a son. As it is, I have a four year old daughter, and I spend a lot of time thinking about how to raise a girl in the culture that she lives in. [b]The reality is that my daughter is more likely to be raped or abused by an intimate partner than her brother would be. [/b]

Posters might be interested in this article from 2012: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/50-actual-facts-about-dom_b_2193904.html[/quote]

And the reality is that if you had a son, he is more likely to be murdered than his sister would be.

I mean, we should work on all of it. And if you feel your efforts are more appropriately spent addressing the types of violence that affect women more, more power to you -- all too many people either exacerbate the problems or do nothing about any of them. And you certainly shouldn't feel like you have to address all of them versus none at all.

But, in light of the topic of this thread, is it sexist to think that violence against women is a more pressing problem than violence against men? Is it sexist to think violence that affects men more is more pressing than violence against women? Is it sexist to react negatively when you perceive a person is valuing the safety of one gender more than the safety of the other?[/quote]

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