Reply to Men: do brains make up for lack of looks?

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[quote=Anonymous]Theoretically I'm the kind of guy the OP is looking for. (Whether she'd actually [b]like[/b] me is an entirely different question, and I'm married already.)

Every person is a mix of traits.

I've known physically stunning women who had serious issues or just weren't nice people (I divorced one as part of learning that particular lesson). I know women who aren't classically or societally beautiful, but who are incredibly sexy, and if I weren't married I'd be chasing them right now.

I've known and dated smart, funny, creative, successful women whose appearance is all over the spectrum of what society considers "attractive".

I can't deny that as a guy I appreciate a beautiful woman, but then my wife looks at Chris Hemsworth and goes, "Mmm....Yummy." and I look [b]nothing[/b] like him.

But the women I find attractive and sexy are confident, smart, funny and flirtatious and have some physical features that [b]they[/b] like in themselves - whether it's their eyes, smile, boobs, butt, hair and they focus on maximizing those. (Don't forget smell, either.)

So, OP, I'd say work on the flirting. Find friends who you think are good at it and put your intellect to work on learning how to do it. Enjoy banter and flirtatious wordplay and play up the features you think are your best - maybe you have a great smile, maybe you have beautiful eyes, maybe you love the way your "milkshake brings the boys to the yard."

Recognize, though, that you have to get past the first impression for a guy to get to know you. You either need to put yourself in situations where the guys aren't making the split second choice to talk with you or the hot 25 year-old Starbucks barrista, or you need to work on your appearance (clothing, demeanor, etc.) so they make the choice you want them to make.

All of this takes more work on your part than it would for a woman who is more traditionally physically attractive, but you can do it, and there are guys who are looking for that.

Good luck. [/quote]

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