Reply to Men: do brains make up for lack of looks?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, PPs are right in that your looks are not the problem, your attitude is.

I share some traits with you. I'm an Ivy grad (although this almost never comes up in a dating situation because it is kind of elitist and desperate sounding to lead with an imagined pedigree) and I'm not attractive. I'm not fat, but I'm not a size 0 either. I'm just...ordinary and average and not particularly skilled at clothing and makeup and the things that can make someone more attractive.

I have absolutely no trouble finding interesting men to date, or sleep with or keep company with or whatever it is I'm looking for. I've no horror stories, regularly date, and maintain good friendships with the vast majority of men I have dated.

Not bad for an ugly girl.

Here is what works for me.

I don't limit myself or prejudge any man I meet. I try to see them as the person they present. If we have great conversation, make each other laugh, have an attraction, then it's all good. I try hard not to see too far into the future. If we have a great date, I look forward to the next great date. If, at some point, something happens that makes one of us less comfortable or causes a problem, I move on. I'm upfront when I need to be, and believe more in listening and learning about the person, not the resume.

I also remember that the point is not to get married or settle down. The point is to find someone I would enjoy spending the rest of my days with.

This could work for you, too, if you stop looking at the paper and start looking at the person.[/quote]

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