Reply to Guy I'm seeing made a joke about raping me and doesn't think it's a problem

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was also wondering if maybe he said this as a not-funny, but meant to be funny, way of telling you that he could have hurt you b/c you were not in a position to defend yourself.  It was a really bad way to get that point across, but unless you had reason to believe he meant this in a violent way, that seems to be a possibility.

I totally agree with the aftermath, however.  When you told him how it came across and that it bothered you, he did not explain himself and apologize.  He has shown you how much/little he respects you, and how he will react to your feelings moving forward.  On that, I would be upset and knowing what I know now, would not be inclined to pursue a relationship with him  You mentioned other issues in terms of no commitment, so I think that says, break up.

I do not think having 3 drinks and attempting to have sex with a guy you are dating screams problem.  Seems normal to me.[/quote]

I totally agree with this.  And this
[quote]id he laugh nervously? IF he laughed nervously, then perhaps he just was trying to tell you that you need to stop drinking because you are putting yourself at risk. Either way, go with your gut. If you are no longer attracted to him, dump him. [/quote]

It really depends on how he said it (the context).  I mean, if I was saying the next day

"OMG, I got so wasted last night.  Sorry we didn't do it, but I was SO out of it.  I don't even remember the night blah, blah blah"   and he replies:

"Yeah, you need to be careful, I could have raped you last night and you wouldn't even have known it.  Knowing your past, I'd be worried for you being unable to defend yourself."

That...to me...sounds like he's looking out for you instead of being a potential rapist or whatever everyone on here is freaking out about.  [/quote]

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