Reply to Is It Optional To Attend The Birth of Your Child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Something to be worked out between the couple.

I would not want to be present but maybe down the line I will feel differently. I would have an issue with my future spouse using my unwillingness to be present as benchmark for our relationship and how I feel about our children.

A question for the women who feel strongly that the husband should be present: if, for some reason, the wife did NOT want the father to be present during delivery even though he wanted to be there, is her opinion decisive in the matter? [/quote]

To answer your question, in that case the father should be allowed in the hospital even if she didn't want him there in the room. But I've never known a wife to date that wouldn't want her husband around during that time.

You said you wouldn't want it as a marker for future situations, but that's exactly what would happen even in a subconscious level. Would you take it personal if your significant other wasn't there for heart surgery or the like for you? Birth is risky and deaths do happen, and at the very least you should be concerned and on top of what's happening in the waiting room.

[b]Btw-I've yet to receive from this post a good reason not to attend or wait in the hospital[/b]. [/quote]

Not sure who said they would not want to wait in the hospital. I was with my wife throughout the labor and it was when they said she was ready to deliver that I left and waited for word that she had delivered. Another PP explained the reservations that I have - a combination of not wanting to see the pain my wife is going through and the blood and gore.

Re being present while delivering versus not being there for heart surgery is a poor analogy. I would not expect her to be in the OR while any type of surgery is going on even if she were allowed to be.

Of course giving birth has its risks - so does even procedures such as a colonoscopy but I'd not expect her to be in the OR if I were undergoing one. Also, make no mistake, if the mother's life was in danger during a delivery - say she went into cardiac arrest - the husband and any other family members would be asked to leave the room.

Quite honestly, this whole thing about being present at delivery is a relatively recent phenomenon even in the US. A lot of the outrage being expressed is to do with perception of others ie how would I explain to my family and friends that my husband did not want to be present when I gave birth, etc.

If a husband wants to be present all power to him. If he does not, don't read into it some sort of failure in the relationship.[/quote]

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