Reply to Is It Optional To Attend The Birth of Your Child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your problem isn't that your husband wasn't there during birth, it's that you are unhappy with him generally.  If he was an excellent husband otherwise but just not into birth, I think you would not be as wound up.

Presence of husbands at birth is completely cultural. It's not a litmus test of their quality as husbands and future fathers.  I have both Russian and Middle Eastern heritage and in both cultures the majority of women are adamant that husbands have no business attending birth; they should be at home arranging a comfortable environment for the child, running errands etc.    Most women there would be aghast and unduly stressed if you told them the husband has to be there.

Whether the husband is present at birth or not is completely and entirely up to the couple.  I repeat that your problem with the husband is not that he wasn't there at birth. It's that he is just not there for you generally. [/quote]

Thanks for this intelligent and informed post.

Not only is there a cultural component but until the 70s' even in the US it was not customary for husbands to be present in the delivery room. But more to the point, for any woman to view the willingness of a husband to be present when she delivers as a litmus test for the overall relationship is absurd to the point of being asinine.

Given the high divorce rate in the US - and I suspect that in most instances where children are involved the husband is present during delivery - it is ludicrous to view the absence or presence of the husband as being some sort of affirmation of the soundness of the relationship.[/quote]

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