Reply to adopting a child who is the product of rape

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Adopted people have different views on whether they want to find their birth families/information. I am 49, was adopted at birth, and am part of a wonderful family. I have never wanted to find out anything about my birth relatives.

I would not tell this child such horrible news. It's hard enough growing up adopted, having people ask you every day of your childhood who your "real" family is, etc. Why add this devastating information to the mix?

When the child grows up, if they want to find out more about their background, which is their right, they can find out then. I disagree with the so-called "experts" (probably not adoptees themselves) who say you should tell the child everything. It seems to me that your responsibility on that score ends with making sure that any medical information you might have from the birth parents is passed on. Otherwise, learning more should be the child's personal journey, to take or not.

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If my child did not want to know about the adoption agency info then I would not share it with them.  You're right, it does depend on the child.

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