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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, what is selfish is to assume that just because you chose to have a family, that everyone needs to cater to you and your small children.  You have lots of options.  You can leave your children with family, even if that family is also out of town (my sister-in-law has volunteered for us to drop the kids off at her place while we go to an out-of-town event and if it was logistically possible, we'd do that).  You can take your child and tag off and on, one go to the wedding.  One goes to the beginning of the reception while the other takes the kid to Bob Evans or Chik-Fil-A or some other place for a couple of hours, then comes to the wedding and switch and the other takes the kid to the hotel to put to bed and the later partner gets a ride back to the hotel.  My MIL has volunteered a couple of times to come with us, fly to our house, then ride with us to an event and she'd stay in the hotel with the kids while we go to an event and come back.  I've been in towns where I look for a professional nanny service that does background checks and will hire a professional nanny that I can interview over the phone and can speak to before we leave.  We get a suite hotel and then I have her come about an hour or so  before we have to leave so that we can watch her watching the kids while we finish getting ready to go and that the kids get a transition before we leave.  Or you can send your regrets and stay home.

Even though I have kids and we have no family local, I find it very selfish that so many people with kids rant about events that are not "family friendly".  There is a whole world out there of family friendly events.  I go to those and I pick and choose the adult restricted events that I go to and if the logistics don't work, I don't go. If I want to go, I figure out what logistics will make it work.  That's part of the choice I made when I had a family.  It's not a bride & groom's responsibility to accommodate the family I chose to have.

I agree to a point with the first PP above.  Weddings are supposed to be celebrations of union that you host for your family and friends.  But that does not necessarily have to include young children who will behave as young children do.  And even the best of children have meltdowns, need to run off energy or generally need to talk or play.  And they don't understand the limitations of a location such as a wedding.  Plus, some catering companies or banquet halls include children in their head counts.  I've seen plenty of folks that have a wedding on Saturday with adult reception and then a family brunch or something on Sunday before folks head back out of town that is open to all ages.  The children can celebrate just as easily and probably better at a brunch with a family friendly setting than they can in a ballroom with fancy food and no play space. [/quote]

Thank you for your reasonable, rational, common-sense response (so rare on DCUM)!!!  This is exactly how I feel.  My husband and I are two of the only people in our family that have kids right now, so we do what we can to make it work for various events and if we can't make it work, we politely decline.  Everyone is fine about it.  [/quote]

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