Reply to Husband seems to resent my not working

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Husband seems to resent my not working "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP Here.  Thank you everyone for your thoughts and insights.  This has been an interesting process.  I talked to my husband last night in depth and he said he doesn't feel resentful, but rather jealous.   He would like to have more "free time" and autonomy and work is stressful right now, and often.      I have worked hard in the last few years to not make him feel guilty for missing kid stuff, but I think he does on his own accord.

He also would like to have my life as he puts it.   Making my life "harder" isn't the solution in his book.  He is glad I am happy, the kids are thriving, etc.   I get it.  The remaining frustration on my part, is that I really am fine with far less than we have and he really isn't he wants the country club, private schools, travel anywhere lifestyle.  I could be happy with a simple house, good schools, and more time together with less stress.   Not sure we will ever bridge that one.    In the meantime, I will continue what I am doing and be as supportive as I can be.   FWIW I am definitely more supportive than most of my friends in terms of I don't care if he golfs or takes a guys weekend, I think he needs and deserves it, no guilt involved.   I am somewhat shocked at my SAHM friends who in their words don't "let" their husbands do these things.    Especially since the vast majority of us are able to outsource  a lot of the grunt work (house cleaning, etc.).     I have a good life and I certainly do appreciate it.    And for those that question the career front thing, I have been out of the workforce for 10 years, it would be hard to get back in but I have some niche skills that are pretty valuable.   One of the reasons we are so comfortable is that I made a lot at a young age and banked a ton.    Anyway, that's neither here nor there.

Thanks again everyone!

[/quote]

It is not fair for you to have your dream life and not him. I would not want to be a guy that is the sole breadwinner. What makes you think they don't want to be home and with the kids as much as women do? A lot of women think men don't WANT to take on more family stuff, when in reality they are just justifying their reasoning for staying home. Just like women hate when men do "everything" for them, men don't like that either. Don't make him beg OP, make things more fair for him. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics