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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm going to tell you something from the voice of experience. Stop trying to figure out how to punish him and concentrate on what benefits you and your child. Be smart about money and child support. Make living arrangements that work best for your new circumstances. Make sure you can afford to pay the child care. Budget for childcare in your support because even if you are a SAHM now, you probably won't be in a few years - you will need to work.

You can't make him feel something he doesn't - guilt, remorse, shame, etc. That's all him you can only look out for yourself. [/quote]

OP,

The above is right on. Please pay attention. Save your energy to get the most advantageous settlement (with a good lawyer!). Take the high road and be a good role model for him, your child, and everyone else, because that joint custody WILL happen and you will need to communicate efficiently with him. It's ironic how so many couples finally learn basic rules of communication after they get divorced, not before.. Pretend you're not angry but just want your due, and pretty soon you will be. Your child will benefit from a father's presence in his life, if that father can look after his needs reasonably well. You can't fathom this right now, but children have their own personalities and their own minds - your son will think for himself, and see through any hypocrisy and moral dilemmas, particularly if you raise him well on your side. Don't criticize his father in front of him.

Stay strong, OP, and move forward.

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