Reply to Ways to make life move forward when everyone else is having babies and you aren't and probably won't

Forum Index » Infertility Support and Discussion

Reply to "Ways to make life move forward when everyone else is having babies and you aren't and probably won't"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I'm not trying to be rude or even mean.  I'm being honest.  And again, I think this is why infertile women (a) distance themselves a bit from people with kids and/or [b](b) don't talk about coming to terms with not having children (even with other people who don't have them) because they know the conversation will be filled with suggestions like this[/b] -- adopt, volunteer -- and then it feels like they should have guilt on top of their grief, guilt that they actually don't want to do those things; they just want to have a child of their own.  [/quote]

Again, it's not clear why you are in this thread when you don't want to talk about coming to terms with not having children.
[/quote]

You missed my point.  It's why OP posts on an online forum instead of talking to friends and family, because in casual conversation, the thing people always suggest is "adopt" or "be a great aunt" or "volunteer"!  I think OP is looking for something besides the USUAL and OBVIOUS suggestions.

that's why she specifically posts on a thread for infertility support.  And the first PP I responded to is someone who HAS A CHILD!!!

I posted above what I think are helpful suggestions.

It's not that infertile people don't want to come to terms, but I think most get tired of the usual suggestions and so they just stop talking about it.  That was my point.[/quote]

[b]I still don't think it's your place to filter responses for the OP, or to discount other people's experiences.[/b] I am the aunt of 12 and will never have children either, so it pisses me off that you think my story isn't helpful or valid because you think it's too "obvious."

Your posting above was very helpful, thank you. I'm sorry for your losses and wish you the best.[/quote]

I wasn't filtering anything.  Those posts are still there.  OP can still read them and my posts and make up her own mind.  I'm participating in a discussion.  That is what this is, a discussion?  And I have every right to an opinion as the woman posting about her son's godfather.

Be pissed off.  You didn't post your story as a post in and off itself.  You posting it trying to say my feelings about the other PP's post weren't valid.   In my post, I said the "adopt" suggestion isn't helpful, but I clearly stated that some people adopt and find peace that way.

I never said your experience isn't valid.  But it's a suggestion that is given a lot, and frankly, most people have NO control over how many nieces and nephews they have.  It's great that you have 12 nieces and nephews.  It's great that they have parents who let you have an active role in their lives.  But again, most people don't have much control over that.  I have about as much control over how many nieces and nephews I have as I have over how many children of my own I have.  Do you not see how that makes your suggestion kind of an impossible one?  
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics