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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I've already posted a few times on thread (I'm the one going to scrape butter off strangers' toast....jk) but really i'm impressed with your grandmother. She is making some lucid comments and seems to know what she is talking about. She could be saying stuff like 20:26's grandmother. I bet she was a competent mother herself at the time. You have good genes.[/quote]

Are you joking again?  I'm really not trying to be snarky, it just that other people are talking about loss of filters and dementia and  you're saying she sounds lucid?  Knows what she's talking about?

What I would like to know is if she has always been a critical person or if this behavior is new for her.  If she used to be a doll, then I would go with all the dementia/aging votes and fall in the take a deep breath and just do your best to get through as politely as possible, but if she has always been very critical of others, then it's just her and her age is irrelevant (i.e., she should be told to stop in no uncertain terms).[/quote]

She is saying they eat too much butter, not trying to feed them vaseline or pouring dish soap in oj glasses. Lots of lucid people have problems with the amount of butter people eat (I'm not one of them). She was also talking about the kid's shoe size, not reminiscing about her first pair of leather shoes her grandfather made for her out of a dead deer back on the farm when she was 4. She's noticing what's going on around her, and pretty accurately. Good for her. When I'm that age (when i'm not scraping the butter off of the toast of strangers) I'm going to be sitting in a rocking chair spacing out.

As far as being told to stop in no uncertain terms -- I guess you don't think that older generations have seniority, have earned respect, etc. SHE raised OP's mom or dad. She is not to be told "in no uncertain terms" by her granddaughter to be quiet. How absurd. Good god, if you can't even respect a 90 year old grandmother then -- I'm speechless. She trumps OP.[/quote]

I find it hard to believe you are for real and not a troll.  Grandma is in the moment, sure, but she is out of control!  My grandmother turns 90 in the fall and she is not only lucid, she still lives in her own house and works part time.  How about them apples?  She would never talk to me like this woman is talking to her granddaughter.  I respect her greatly and value her advice.

But respecting your elders does not translate into tolerating repeated rudeness and bullying.  Age is no excuse for rudeness; dementia, maybe, but just being a senior?  If she is so wise and seasoned, she should know better.

I never said OP should be rude back.  There are ways to tell people "in no uncertain terms" that you find their behavior unacceptable without being rude.   [b]Why would you assume it would have to be mean and disrespectful?  Because you know  no other way?[/b] It can be done in a polite but firm manner.  Several previous posters have made excellent suggestions on how to do this.

[b]I have a sneaking suspicion that you are a busy-body know-it-all type who tortures your relative with your sage advise just like this grandmother [/b]and so you think this behavior is acceptable.  It is not.  [/quote]

You're pretty consistently rude in tone for someone who "knows another way" grasshopper.[/quote]

The truth hurts, eh? You brought it on yourself with your consistently rude and condescending posts. [/quote]

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