Reply to DD doesn't want to be in family portrait

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[quote=Anonymous]
You have to tell us now, OP.

Is this child of yours ugly? Are we talking something like what PP said below?

Respect your daughter's feelings above your MIL's and SHOW our DD you are standing up for her. 
Otherwise you're creating a lot of resentment down the road.

[quote=Anonymous]

I'm a former ugly child.  Troll nose, unibrow with cowlicks + buck teeth.  Troll nose partially due to genetics, partly brought on by early childhood ENT issues.

My mom threw me under the bus just as is being done with OP's child.  By age 4 I knew I looked "unusual" and by first grade, I knew I was "ugly."  Other girls did not want to play with me.  Boys were more forgiving; at least I could run fast and catch a ball.  A few boys teased me over the years but some, especially the nerdy ones, were genuinely nice and friendly.  Girls were generally meaner.  I just assumed no one would play with me so I often went off on my own.  So not only was I ugly, but also "aloof" and "anti-social."  My mom apparently thought that the problem was me.  It didn't matter what she said, but what she did mattered.  I was beautiful "just the way I was" but mom was all too eager to take me to the plastic surgeon's office!

I got braces in seventh grade, learned to shape my eyebrows, and got plastic surgery on my nose just before entering high school - but the damage was done.  I've never gotten over it.  I don't make friends with women easily - in college I mostly hung out with geeky guys.  I don't know what it's like to feel normal.

I'm still glad I got the braces and plastic surgery because I doubt I would have been able to have a normal life without it. A lot of people who disparage plastic surgery do not know what it's like to be so different.

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