Reply to How Do I Trust that DH Did Not Have an Affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess this is where we dig up Ann Landers and ask her famous question, "Would you be better off with him or without him?"

It doesn't sound like much of a marriage, and [b]I'm pretty sure he cheats on you[/b]. He lives a totally separate life. If you are okay with your separate lives, continue, but just drop the jealousy and learn to accept it. If it makes you miserable, get some counseling for yourself and get out of the marriage.[/quote]

She has no evidence and neither do you.  DW had the choice to join her DH on these assignments and chose not too.  She is refusing to accept responsibility for her own decisions and laying all the blame on her DH.  Not very fair.  [/quote]

No, there's no evidence. But be real here. He lives a separate life from her, for years at a time, apparently.[b] Do you know anything about men and what they do when they get lonely, horny, and are not happy with their wives? [/b]

From what OP says, the marriage is full of resentment, lack of mutual appreciation, and a fundamental disagreement on the husband's job choice. She says she quit jobs and went along with him in the early years. It no longer works for her to do all the sacrificing for his job. And why should she be the one to sacrifice? Meanwhile, he chooses his job over being with his family, even though it has a very negative effect. Something's got to give. The cheating issue is not even relevant. They are both torn because their job situation is not compatible with their having a happy marriage. They may both feel they're doing the best thing, but it just isn't working, so time to rethink.[/quote]

You make some pretty broad assumptions about all men based on what?  Do you think it is impossible for a man to be chaste/celibate and keep his vows sexually in the absence of his wife, even during long-term separation?  How do we know that OP herself has not cheated?  
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