Reply to I want to be the fun laid back wife. Please tell me how.

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Reply to "I want to be the fun laid back wife. Please tell me how."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe a lot of you women should start acting like ladies instead of spoiled brats.[/quote]

+1000[/quote]

Maybe a lot of you men should stop being lazy shits? No? Okay.[/quote]

Funny, we weren't lazy when you married us or you ignored it and now you want to complain about. The problem comes in when you start trying to control everything. You become a mother. Men want a wife not some control freak. [/quote]

Yes you were. It just mattered less. We assumed you, like us, would step up once kids and a real household came into play. [/quote]

This is idiotic. You assumed someone could be changed? That they would suddenly throw away their own experiences and ways of dealing with the world?  :lol:

So many people have a hard time accepting a very difficult concept: You married the wrong person. You married someone who isn't right for you and now it is annoying to you that they won't become the partner you expected. It is a terrible situation but it isn't impossible. You either accept the person you chose or you decide to get out of it with dignity and next time...marry someone who is up to your standards and expectations. If not, stay single...forever.[/quote]

You sound like my husband. I wasn't aware that laziness was a such a fundamental and deeply cherished character trait. [/quote]

How about responding to the meat of this post. You married the wrong person.[/quote]

Sure, I can respond to that if you like. I sometimes consider that I married the wrong person, but generally believe that I married the right person for a lot more reasons than would fall into the "wrong" category. One has to take the bad with the good. I also believe that all of us, including OP, including myself, could use improvement. "Stop nagging so much" is certainly a criticism that many women receive and do (or should) take to heart, just as "help out more" is one that many men could benefit from. Just as men want a wife/partner and not a "control freak," so do women want a husband/partner and not an albatross. Working (or struggling) to meet in the middle on those two things is part of marriage, not an invitation to divorce. And since I don't believe that most rational, mature people pride themselves on their laziness such that it rises to a "way of dealing with the world," yes, I do expect that people inside or outside a marriage will change along with their circumstances. [/quote]

Thank you for answering. The point is that some people are simply "lazy" people and they see the world as a series of challenges to be avoided for as long as possible. If you don't have this world view it is difficult to understand why someone won't pitch-in and take charge of things. Yes, people should meet in the middle. Husbands and wives should work together, but that isn't the point. If you're married to a person who is already the wrong person, someone who won't do what it takes to make the marriage successful...then you're doomed to fail. It is very simply the very wrong person to have married. If you expect people to change with their circumstances, you have to marry a person who does change when circumstances call for it and not a person who avoids doing anything they don't absolutely want to do.[/quote]

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