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[quote=Anonymous]We had mild conflict over family size but it was the difference between having 2 kids versus 3.  I think stopping at 1 would have been a lot harder but even then I could reluctantly see how our lifestyle as a couple is dramatically different with 2 versus 1 child.

My question to the OP is what is his reason for wanting to stop at 1 child?  Also, is this one of those things where he is so adamant he would be willing to get a vasectomy or he says no more kids but if you divorce and he starts dating a mid-thirties woman he ends up with another either on purpose or accident?  My DH says he doesn't want another BUT it isn't a situation where he is getting a vasectomy plus backup forms of birth control.  So his is a strong preference, and I'm not trying to talk him out of it, but is not an absolute.

I'm wondering if on both sides you could use a 3rd party to help navigate the situation, you aren't happy he changed the rules on you and his apparent lack of concern for your feelings and he may be feeling pressured and as though you aren't concerned with his feelings.

You also have to decide if your vision of a family is worth giving up the family you have now.  What if the concerns DH has are valid (whatever they are) how do you deal with it if you go ahead with another?  I always think, and what if we have twins, or what if we have another kid with ADHD or even more intensive special needs, do we have the commitment to each other and family to handle it or would it break us and break apart the idyllic life of DC1&DC2?  As other people have mentioned, if you do leave, it has to be because the marriage fundamentally doesn't work and DH has no interest in repairing it because at the end of the day leaving at this age 40 with a four year old won't get you another child unless you are planning to go to the sperm bank.[/quote]

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