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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here--Not like it's much use to defend myself since I totally understand the ignorant and stereotypical nature of my questions--hence why I asked it anonymously on a message board as opposed to one of my friends. But! I guess what I was getting at was sort of how surprised I was how PUBLIC this all was and if anyone could comment on how I am seeing an exception or this is other people's experience as well. Listen, I am not black, but I was smacked around when I was kid plenty. It's not a good thing--but that's not even what has made my jaw drop. Like, how are people yanking these toddlers around and screaming and its just so prolific? And their neighbors and friends aren't intervening? I would, but I feel like it would make it worse. So this is just enough of a thing that people in a community are just used to it?[/quote]

OP I appreciate your inquisitiveness and general concern - prickly references to race aside, you're not thrilled seeing kids getting beaten and want to know if you're alone in your appraisal or if there are other silent head-shakers out there who frown upon parents too.  Well, there are.  People silently shake their heads and frown upon mothers who don't console their crying toddlers but instead let them wail.  People silently shake their heads and frown upon mothers who essentially bribe their children with candy and toys so they will behave.  People silently shake their heads and frown upon mothers who seemingly overreact about nothing or seemingly tolerate just about anything.  List goes on and on.  
There are silent head-shakers frowning upon parents everywhere throughout our society and if you're a mother out in public with your kids you best believe someone is watching you and making all kinds of assessments about your parenting skills and all kinds of evaluations about your children's behavior regardless of your race, income, religion, language, culture, whatever...the disapproval of silent head-shakers transcends all that shit.  Hell its people criticizing Princess Kate for discreetly wiping Prince George's drool on her designer dress during a visit to Sydney’s Taronga Zoo.  [i]"She didn't use a cloth or a bib?  She used her hand?  THE HORROR!!!"[/i]
Fact is OP our society as a whole is pretty much geared toward people minding their f#king business - husbands beat the crap out of their wives and neighbors hear the screams but no one says anything...teenage girls are waaaay more frisky than their parents suspect and neighbors know what they're up to but no one says anything...wives are sneaking behind their husbands backs having affairs with the landscaper and neighbors see her shady activities but no one says anything.  That's the environment that we've created as a result of putting so much emphasis on personal privacy.  Maybe that needs to change.  Maybe someone does need to intervene sometimes.  
Good luck.

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