Reply to Do you get envious of women in happy marriages?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am happily married, no pretending here. I consider myself truly, truly lucky. Eight years now.[/quote]

same here, but 5 years. [/quote]

Your reply made me think.

We were very happily married at 5 years.  Now at 14 things are sort of a different story.  We're both highly committed to the relationship but I wouldn't say we're happy most of the time.  Somewhere between about 8 and 12 things got HARD. 
I'm not saying this will happen to you but I do think you're still in the honeymoon phases of the marriage. [/quote]

Why does pp have to be in the honeymoon phase? Why can't some couples just be happy and others not say it's bc they aren't together long enough?[/quote]

My parents were very happy at the 5 year mark.  It was at about the 7 year mark that things got tense.

I'm not the PP to whom you are responding, but I think the point is that marriages, like people, tend to change over time.  I imagine some get stronger, but some go sour.  Sometimes people drift apart.  Sometimes something dramatic happens.  Sometimes people just get bored.

That's what is sort of ridiculous about this thread.  I don't envy other people's marriages.  I don't assume any marriage is a static thing.

I think I 5ave a good marriage.  But I know that things can change.  I hope my husband and I grow closer and that our marriage grows stronger over time, but I'm not naive enough to believe that it's a certainty, even though I know we're both pretty good people, committed, and pretty well matched.  But I've seen similar marriages fall apart.

It's like everything else in life:  You make the best decision you can given the information you have.  You do your best to make it work.  You try to live up to your promises/commitments.  But then you let the chips fall where they will, understanding that not everything is within your control.   It's useless to envy other married people. 
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