Reply to Do you have a child that is gay or bi?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those who say they knew when their kid was 4 or 6 or whatever -- how? Is it just that they acted different from their siblings and had different interests? I'd like to think it isn't the stereotypical -- he's a boy but he won't play with trucks or sports and he'd rather play with an ez-bake oven, but is that what it was? [/quote]

Hmmm ... I don't know what it was specifically when he was a little boy. He was very active, very into sports, happy to play cars. He has two sisters and was equally happy to play with their stuff, playing house, etc., but he'd always dump them if a little neighbor boy came by to go ride bikes or play ball. He had very specific opinions about his clothes and hair, but also had no problem going outside and getting as dirty as all the other boys.

But I do remember telling him when he was 7, there's a word for when boys like boys and girls like girls, in the way that makes your heart happy and you think you want to marry them, and that word is gay. I remember how his whole body relaxed and then happiness washed over his face, to know this feeling that's different from everyone else, has a name. That kind of confirmed it for me, and DH then made it a point to point out gay men who were happy and successful in life, so he'd see people like himself in grownup form. One time he was home sick in middle school and watching rerun after rerun of Will & Grace. He turned to me and said "I don't want to be like Jack when I grow up. I want to be like Will." [/quote]

[b]You don't know if you are gay that early. You know after puberty. Saying that he should be with men is going to confuse him. Wait until afterer puberty when the hormones kick in[/b]. [/quote]

Every single thing you said is wrong. Firstly if you ask most gay or lesbian people when they knew they were gay, they will tell you it was preschool/elementary school age. They may not have known the word for it, but they knew they were different. Secondly, we never told DS he should date men. We just pointed out gay people who were doing well in all facets of life and were happy, so he could have role models. It was subtle and if it'd meant nothing to DS he wouldn't have picked up on it. He was never confused about who he was attracted to. I remember him saying in 5th or 6th grade, "I don't think I'm going to ever get married," and my husband ruffling his hair and responding, "I think your time will come; keep an eye out." DS meant he didn't think he'd be allowed to get married. He knew if he got married it would be to a boy. [/quote]

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