Reply to Can a little cheating actually SAVE a marriage?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it could.  If my husband cheated on me even once a year and I never knew about it, no harm done.  Ideally it would be someone he had an agreement with.  If it's not affecting our home life and I had no idea it's happening, it's not hurting me.  [/quote]

Me: absolutely not. I'd want to be free to find someone else. BTW, it IS affecting home life because he's spending time away from the kids, leaving that burden to you. He's also spending $$$ on the other women, depriving the house of vital $$ when you both should be saving for college and retirement. That's a direct impact of both time and money.

He's also lying and liars are much less likely to use protection to prevent pregnancy (thus having to pay for abortion or child support = $$$) and risking your health due to STDs like AIDS and herpes. Being flip with a partner's health is NEVER O.K. It's abusive.[/quote]

If he was simply out having sex with someone, it is possible he could do it without it affecting our home life.  He goes to the gym after work.  One day he could have sex with someone else and I would never be the wiser.  I am the one with the money, so he would not be depriving the house of anything.  I am very lucky and we will not have to worry about college or retirement for our kids.  It's already taken care of.  If he is just having sex with someone else once or twice a year and I don't know about it, no harm done.  If he is having a full blown affair, that is a whole other story.  If I found out that he was having a relationship with someone else, we would have to take a good hard look at our marriage and I don't think I would be able to continue to be married to him.  However, if it's just sex every so often, that is not enough for me to just end my marriage.  [/quote]

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