Reply to Private school vs paying for inlaws extended care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So many of you are conveniently ignoring the fact that a lot of seniors lost a significant portion of their retirement when the market tanked.  This was not something they could have planned for and it can happen to any of us--hopefully, not after it is too late to make up the losses.   [/quote]

Sorry, that is also bad planning. They should have gotten out of the stock market and moved into something more conservative.

[quote=Anonymous]OP here!  Update: I buckled down and set up 5 tours of facilities over the weekend.  Some a little bit far, some very no frills/modest, some in less than desirable areas but all "decent" in terms of care (Accordingly to personal recommendations).  The assisted living that they would love to go to and have a community of friends at is really not a good idea for them or us.  Its just too expensive and I don't want to stretch it that far.  Even thought I know we COULD do it I am not comfortable spending it.  I am however committed to find a place we all like and that we will happily pay for.  We decided to add X amount of dollars to their monthly income and are now touring places that fit that number.  Thanks for the input, I really appreciate it and find it useful and interesting.  Not sure what we are going to go about high school now but I plan to leave enough room in our yearly budget that we could do both modest assisted living facility and private high school even if that means I work additional hours or we cut back in other areas.  (I work in the medical field and luckily have access to overtime, phew!)  Thanks again and I am still going to follow the thread for others opinions.

PS: About DH sibs who cannot help: we decided not to investigate whether they truly can't or won't help. We have just decided to keep peace in the family and take on the parental responsibility.  I want to keep family gatherings peaceful and joyous while we are all still lucky enough to have my in laws with us. [/quote]

Please tell me you're not going to give the money to the in-laws, but pay the facility directly.

It is all very well to preserve family peace, but you should still have the conversation with your parents about any remaining assets or life insurance policies.

I would certainly encourage you to make them sign for every payment as a loan -- which you will not call in while they are alive, but which would be a claim against the estate after they pass away.

Your husband must be a saintly man indeed. I would not be able to remain at peace with siblings who refused to help in this situation.[/quote]

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