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[quote=Anonymous]OP here!  Update: I buckled down and set up 5 tours of facilities over the weekend.  Some a little bit far, some very no frills/modest, some in less than desirable areas but all "decent" in terms of care (Accordingly to personal recommendations).  The assisted living that they would love to go to and have a community of friends at is really not a good idea for them or us.  Its just too expensive and I don't want to stretch it that far.  Even thought I know we COULD do it I am not comfortable spending it.  I am however committed to find a place we all like and that we will happily pay for.  We decided to add X amount of dollars to their monthly income and are now touring places that fit that number.  Thanks for the input, I really appreciate it and find it useful and interesting.  Not sure what we are going to go about high school now but I plan to leave enough room in our yearly budget that we could do both modest assisted living facility and private high school even if that means I work additional hours or we cut back in other areas.  (I work in the medical field and luckily have access to overtime, phew!)  Thanks again and I am still going to follow the thread for others opinions.

PS: About DH sibs who cannot help: we decided not to investigate whether they truly can't or won't help. We have just decided to keep peace in the family and take on the parental responsibility.  I want to keep family gatherings peaceful and joyous while we are all still lucky enough to have my in laws with us. [/quote]

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