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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Reality is you may be better off staying. Abusers who seek custody in Family Court have 70% chance of getting it. In cases where kids have disclosed sexual abuse or physical abuse, even with evidence, abuser given custody, even sole custody, up to 90% of the time. Even if never all that interested before, likely to go for custody to avoid child support. In today's Family Court it is the mom without so much as a traffic ticket who may end up with PAID supervised visitation. Abusive exes are likely to try to continue control through kids, read about DV by Proxy. Asking ex to leave was biggest mistake I made, after not cancelling the wedding. We will not stop paying for the rage that was triggered until youngest is 18 I fear. First they get the mom to 50-50, then 2 weekends a month, then cut off. Do some reading on Barry Goldstein' s website or DV Leap or The Battered Mother's Custody Conference site. Also read Phyllis Chessler' s updated Mother's on Trial. Make a decision based on reality, not myths. You could well lose contact with your kids over time, abusers are given tremendous control to ruin the rest of your life. Family Court will not protect you or the kids. Your future could make your current life look like The Waltons. The ex of a friend who was abusive has remarried. He flipped her having primary custody to 2 weekends per month. She moved out of state. If she dates he has a PI stalk her and harrass the men. With federal funding for dads who go for custody there is no brake on how crazy they get. If you leave or ask him to do so, there is a real chance that in a few years you will end up with no or little contact with your kids, that is the reality, happens to tens of thousands of moms a year.

signed-sure wish I had known and hand' t drunk the koolaide out of ignorance [/quote]

This is crazy talk.

My ex was convicted of DV. I had so much evidence against him regarding alienation, not wanting custody, etc that there is never the chance of the above happening.

I'm asking the OP detailed questions regarding her situation in hopes of giving her real advice. You must collect a lot of evidence and be prepared to fight in court.[/quote]

Sorry, your case is not the norm in how cases are being decided at present in DC and elsewhere. Alienation is claimed against the mom, no one acts if dad does it, they use it in the Woody Allen sense not the ordinary meaning of word. Read the Chessler book OP and anyone else. There are enormous federal programs that father's can tap into to change custody, 21:00 if your ex did not get caught up in FR machine you were lucky. Did you know that there is a Father's Court in DC Superior Court? You cannot believe it until you have little to no contact with your kids. Happens to moms w/o have done nothing wrong, who are doctors, executives, etc. Could be OP. You were lucky it was not you.

OP, has your husband ever been evaluated for adult ADD and depression? Could explain a lot. There is a doc in DuPont who is supposed to be good, name has been mentioned in threads.[/quote]

New poster. I'm sorry because you sound very disturbed, but this is crazy, lunatic talk. The default custody arrangement in DC is joint, and OP has not engaged in parental alienation. Further, the only book I've ever heard recommended about parental alienation is Divorce Poison, a very mainstream bestseller. If anyone is worried about it, read the book and make sure you're not engaging in any activity like that.

As for Father's Court, it's not set up to HURT mothers!!! Especially mothers like OP. See below.

The DC Family Court's Fathering Court Program was created in response to the District’s significant need to provide services to fathers who are unable to maintain healthy relationships with their children and or to provide adequate financial support for their well being. The Fathering Court program is designed to equip fathers with skills that enable them to contribute positively to the emotional and economic well-being of their children.
Beginning in November 2007 as a pilot program, the Fathering Court Program was launched to help incarcerated men, re-entering the community, reconnect with their children and to pay child support. The Fathering Court Program combines needs-assessment, employment skills development and community resources to provide non-custodial parents the ability to better meet the emotional and financial needs of their children.[/quote]

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