Reply to WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child

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Reply to "WWYD? We hate the name of our foster-to-adopt child"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all for your opinions. Let me give a little more info. Her name IS something like Mistee, but even more stripper-like. Also, both her first AND middle names are like this. Two of my friends grew up in actual trailer parks and neither are white trash.

Future-DD's mother was an actual crackwhore. She gave birth in prison. F-DD has never known her. and has spent her whole life in prison and foster care. She was not lovingly placed in foster care by a heartbroken mother who tearfully confessed she couldn't adequately care for her. I would of course never use the term white trash in front of F-DD to describe her background.

Yes, I am embarrassed at the reaction I get when introducing her. Also, I am not sure how to handle when people ask why I chose the name or how. I don't want to feel obligated to "out" her as adopted, but that means I have to take responsibility for having named her that.

We are not going to let her, as a 4 yr old, pick a new name. What she loves at 4, may hate at 14, may hate at 24. [/quote]

Is this about you or is it about her?  You can give the child a list of 2-3 names and let her choose one.  No matter what you choose she could hate it at 14 or 24.  Allow her to keep her first name as a middle name and then give her a new first name.  It is part of who she is.  Her birthmother is part of who she is.  If you have hate for her birthmom, she will not and it will reflect in your relationship. [/quote]

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