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[quote=Anonymous]I'm pretty sure most of you passing judgment on Wake and Duke have never set foot on either campus. How can you say an entire school is not a place for the curious of any stripe when there are thousands of students there doing all sorts of amazing things?

I went to Wake and my husband went to Duke, and we've talked a lot about our respective college experiences. My husband could have been described similarly to your kid-incredibly intelligent, but shy and reserved (in his case he was pretty socially awkward), definitely not into frat life. He actually had an amazing experience at Duke socially. He moved around a lot as a kid, and being at Duke was the longest amount of time he spent in one place. He was not part of Greek life, but made a pretty amazing group of lifelong friends. 10 years later we are still close with many of these people. He wouldn't deny the role that Greek life plays on campus, but since he had his own group I don't think it really bothered him. He also appreciated his academic experience, and I think it actually challenged him for perhaps the first time. Overall I think going to Duke helped him become a little more well rounded and comfortable in social settings. He considers it to be one of the best choices he ever made.

My experience at Wake was tougher. They gave me a big scholarship so I went there. My academic experience was fantastic and set me up for Ivy League grad school down the road and a career that I love. Small classes, good professors who actually seemed to enjoy teaching, and amazing study abroad are just a few of the good things I'd say about the academic experience. Socially, it took me some time to find my niche, and even then I never had a really consistent group of friends--more like individual friends I had from disparate activities. A bit of this was my own fault. Freshman year I started dating someone at a different school (not husband) and I don't think I put enough effort into reaching out and making friends. One thing I will say about Greek life at Wake is that people approach it in different ways. I think it's easier for women. Many of my friends and roommates were in sororities and saw it as another activity that they enjoyed, but it didn't consume their lives (there were of course exceptions). For men I think it's probably tougher in terms of the divide between "frat guys" and independents. I'm not sure I'd encourage someone fitting your son's description to go there, but think about visiting campus and seeing how it feels to him.

We were reflecting recently on what we feel we got out of going to private college and whether it was worth the cost. We agreed that we really liked being surrounded by smart, driven people from a variety of backgrounds, and we feel that both Wake and Duke offered that to us in a way our high schools and experiences at home never did. We both also wanted to avoid going to the same huge state schools as half our high school classmates. Sure maybe UChicago has more people discussing Foucault in coffee shops, but frankly they can keep them because an entire student body of those types sounds insufferable.

I think Duke would be a better fit for your son than Wake, and you should definitely check it out. Hope this helps.

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