Reply to Husbands: do you secretly wish your SAH wives bought in a paycheck?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm wondering why, in the high HHI scenarios being spoken of here, this is an either/or -- either the meals are cooked, house is clean, kids are cared for, clothes are washed/dry-cleaned, stress is low, and wife stays home, OR meals are takeout, house is messy, kids are on their own, stress is high, and wife works.

If you make a lot of money (let's say, top 1% in DC area) and wife's income would be "fraction" of yours, wouldn't you be able to outsource everything (nanny, cooking, housekeeping, laundry, errands, etc.) so that both of you work outside of the home but don't have to to the grunt work at home? Seems like this would actually be the ideal scenario. Two working parents in a high-income household minus the stress of cooking/cleaning/laundry/errands, with the added security of a second income for the "just in case" scenarios? [/quote]

Agree that it's not a straight divide like that. We both work and are not in the 1% (actually top 4% I suppose so still enough to comfortably outsource), we have a nanny to avoid pick up/drop offs (since oldest is now in school, we did daycare when they could be together, but daycare was at DH's work for most of the years we did that), and have regular housecleaning. Can also afford to live close-in which is I'm sure a big factor. Meal-planning/cooking etc. is practically a hobby as we are both into it and think it's hugely important to our family's health, so probably not something we'd ever outsource and something we do together (not as in we cook and shop together but that we tag team and each cook and shop throughout the week). Laundry really isn't that big a deal. I throw it in a few times a week and eventually it gets put away. So I'm not sure how much easier his life would be if I stayed home. He'd probably still do yard, trash, car stuff, and taxes. We tag team on homework/school logistics/forms, maybe I'd do more of that. With nanny we don't really have to deal with sick days too much.

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